can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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