woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
