p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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