question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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