ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
