Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
