She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
