dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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