a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
