I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got inside last night via doggy door
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
