never play flip cup with pint glasses
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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