It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
