Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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