So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
