2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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