im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
