Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
