i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
