you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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