ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
