this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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