All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
foreskin is a definite game changer
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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