it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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