scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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