I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
