I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
