I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
