so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
