I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
