two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
do nipples grow back?
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