Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
