Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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