who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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