Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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