help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
