He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
