Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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