i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
