I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
