Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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