just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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