theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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