u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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