it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
