My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
