But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
