He passed out mid-signature
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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