I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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