we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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