We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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