LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
